Another Morning With You

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:48 pm

"Sure, whatever," Mike laughed back.

He stared back at him. "You know... I'm aware that's just about the cheesiest thing I could say right now, but I'd never leave here if I could."

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

"Honestly, I think I'd sink after a while" was the only witty reply Brian could think of.

But really, he felt just the same. He wasn't ready to leave Mike. Not now, not later, and certainly not the next morning. When he'd be back to Europe, all the time he'd have spent with him would feel like a dream. The kind of comforting dream that dissipates the second you open your eyes. Brian didn't want to forget...but mostly, he didn't want Mike to forget him.

"You know, I'm sure you don't mean it. You'd be bored with me after a while."

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:31 pm

Mike tilted his head to the right, staring at him incredulously. "Of course not." He pressed his forehead against Brian's, still looking at him.

He waited for a moment. "I'd miss coffee and strawberry ice cream, that's for sure," he smirked.

He had trouble believing that tomorrow wouldn't be spent this way, spent wasting time with someone he loved. Then again, he wasn't sure if he knew or didn't want to think about it.

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

"I hope you're aware that I'll never be able to look at strawberry ice cream the same way," Brian admitted. "Nor at teddy bears, or swans, or cinnamon buns, or shampoo, or..."

He stopped. "It's really not gonna be the same."

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:45 pm

Mike sighted. "Yeah, I know," he added lamely. But what could he say? He couldn't deny it, it was true. Stupid, but still true.

Approaching his face, he kissed Brian tenderly and slowly. He wrapped his arms around his waste and brought him closer.

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

Brian's hands slid along Mike's arms.

Who would hold him when he'd be back home? He had learned over the years to take care of other people, but who would take care of him when Mike would be gone?

It would have been much simpler to cancel or postpone the European tour. But what for? There was nothing to expect out of their strange, dysfunctional relationship. Lovers cheating on somebody else they loved. Love, yes - to what extent? He didn't know. Right from the start, though, it had been clear that it was only temporary. Either of them would leave eventually, because what they were doing was horribly wrong. But fuck, it felt so good.

As he thought about it, he felt guilt for the first time since he had met Mike. He was hurting his girlfriend, and she wouldn't even know. What a bastard he was.

He kissed Mike's collarbone, and rested his head against his neck.
He desperately wanted to know how Mike felt. Brian was confused about his priorities and about the ones he loved. He was more than loving Mike - he was in love with Mike. If the man didn't feel the same, then things could be different.

The question was on the tip of his tongue, yet he didn't know how to ask it.

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:49 pm

After a long silent and just standing there, Mike could see Brian was drifting off into thoughts.

"Are you... are you okay?" he asked. At the same time, he wasn't sure if it was the proper question to ask. Deep down he knew it wasn't, but maybe he just wanted Brian to acknowledge he was still there.

Not waiting for a reply, he stroked the wet strands of Brian's hair which had mixed with salt, making them rougher.

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

"Uh? Ah, erm, yeah...sorry about that," he apologized.

He sighed. "Look, can I...ask you something? But please don't get mad at me."

He whispered to himself, "I can't swim all the way to the shore by myself."

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:58 pm

Mike smiled warmly back at him. "And let me guess. You want me to carry you there?"

He placed his arms back around Brian's small frame, enlacing the small of his back and slowly began to make his way back to the shore.

"Don't you ever get tired of being carried around?" he asked.

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

"Nope," Brian replied cheerfully.

If he asked his question now, and in the eventuality Mike would be weirded out, chances were he still wouldn't drop Brian in the water. Maybe it was a good time, then?

He took a deep breath.
"Who do you like better between me and her?"

He quickly closed his eyes and bowed his head, like a child anticipating someone to suddenly yell at him.

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:16 pm

Mike stared blankly ahead. How would he answer this? Even if Brian hadn't formulated it in words, he knew that he was speaking of his girlfriend. And he did love Britney, don't get him wrong. But he had trouble comparing his love for Brian. It was just something his brain was whether unable to do or simply didn't want to. Maybe he was just scared to see what the result would be, because either way it would mean bad news for him. So leaving this question untouched was probably what was the safest move.

He lowered his glare, knowing that the smaller man waited for an answer. His throat tight, he didn't dare to say a stupidity.

"Brian... I... I don't know," he said as calm as he could. "But... please," he added quickly. "Just... try to understand. I can't tell, I love my girlfriend and I know I love you too."

He paused.

"And what would you say if I asked you the same question?"

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

Brian's eyes widened.
"I...well, I...you....it's not the same! It...it depends on a lot of facts and circumpstances and..." He placed two fingers over his eyelids. "Fuck, you're right. I feel the same. And it's a shame we can't have both. We're horribly greedy, you know that...?"

In his head, though, everything was still a blur. If it was true, then why were they choosing them over eachother...?

He lowered his head in shame and managed a smile. "Yeah, sorry for asking. That was pretty stupid. But it's just that...I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to find lame excuses to be with you."

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:32 pm

Mike didn't answer back at that, and they finally arrived at the shore, but much further away from the public beach. He placed Brian back on the sand, in a sitting position, and sat next to him.

"Do you want to go back already or just stay here for awhile?"

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

Brian contemplated the sand that was already sticking to his toes, silently wondering if he'd look better in a girl's swimsuit.
"We could stay until I get a really dark tan. Nice souvenir from my trip to America."

He ran a hand in his hair, remembering that he'd have to wash off the salt eventually.
"But really, I can be such a drag sometimes. Can't I do something for you, for a change? I feel like I'm gonna drain all your energy before I leave. Not good. I don't know what I can do to make you happy."

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:58 pm

"You're here, I'm already happy," Mike replied simply.

He started to burry his feet in the sand, then covered his ankles as well.

Looking down at Brian, he said "honestly, if you were taller, I could at least rest my head on your shoulder."

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

As much as he hated being reminded of how small he was, Brian never lost his temper over it.

He smirked. "Honestly, if I were taller, you'd be totally under my control."

He took a fistful of sand and dropped it on Mike's stomach. "Maybe you're the one supposed to be smaller. It'd be easier to bury you in the sand."

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:13 pm

"Sure," Mike smirked. He laid on his back and crossed his arms behind his head.

A moment passed.

"It's pretty funny to be here. I never got to that before, we never got around the cities we were in while we were on tour."

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

"Same for me."
He smiled, almost to himself. "I would have been disappointed if you had told me that you were used to walking around town with guys you've known for only a few days."

Brian mind-absently traced a heart in the sand with both of their intials in it, but quickly erased it with his hands, hoping Mike hadn't seen it.

"You should come to Europe some time. Drop by my house when you'll be on tour. I could show you around."
Deep down he knew it wasn't very likely that Mike would accept, but he still liked the idea. I liked to think that the two of them would stay in good terms, even it that was mostly an idealistic and impossible way to part.

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:30 pm

Mike blinked. "Yeah, we came back from Europe three months ago. I don't when we'd go again."

He sat back up and nudged some of the sand on his feet away.

Looking back at Brian, he barfed. "Oh God... you'll really have to wash your hair, ha."

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

Brian lowered his head and covered it with his forearms. "Fuck! Is it that bad?"
He tried to comb it with his fingers, but in vain. He got up.

"I'll go in the public shower, just to rinse my hair. Do you mind?"

Not only did he feel ridiculous for being the only untanned male being on the beach, but his hair supposedly looked horrible. How more embarassing could it get?

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:39 pm

"No, no," Mike said, trying to contain his laugher. "You're fine, you're just fine," he tried to assure, still giggling a little bit.

He got up and took Brian's forearm to prevent him from getting away. "It doesn't matter anyway; no one's around."

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

Brian sat back. "Hopefully. You're the only one I can tolerate to see my hair like this...but only because yours is worse."
He giggled. "But I could make you a wig out of seaweed. You'd look fabulous."

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:50 pm

"No thanks for the sea weed, honest."

"Come on, you don't look that funny," he said with a smirk. He gripped Brian closer and kissed him slowly, his left hand resting on the back of his neck.

Admin Number of posts : 324 Registration date : 2006-08-23

There was sand sticking to his fingers, and salt in his hair, and winding blowing, and people not too far, and...there was Mike; his hand resting on Brian's neck, and his lips against Brian's, and the picture-perfect scenery of an american beach. If Brian was asked to described the perfect kiss, he would make sure not to leave out those details.

He wanted to get lost in Mike's kiss and forget everything around; the time, the place...but mostly the time, even though it might have been the main catalyst for transforming such an insignificant moment into a memory he'd cherish.

Subject: Re: Another Morning With You Wed Nov 22, 2006 10:15 pm

Mike kept on pressing his lips against Brian's, but suddenly stopped, looking around, seeing that the crowded beach wasn't too far off. Knowing that Brian hadn't appreciate the whistle they got so much earlier, he halted.

"Sorry," he whispered.

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